what's up, buttercups?

[rosa_acicularis]

A meme snagged from eponymous_rose, because I should be writing and procrastination is sexy. Hooray!

Strike-through what you've done before:

1. Had beer.

2. Smoked an entire cigarette.

3. Smoked a cigar.

4. Done drugs.
Damn, look at me. I'm an animal.

5. Written on a bathroom wall.
Even I'm not that dangerous. Also, I never seem to have a pen...

6. Read a George Orwell book.

7. Had a physical fight.
What, fisticuffs?

8. Used Twitter.

9. Listened to Lady Gaga.

10. Been in a car accident.

11. Gotten suspended.

12. Gotten expelled.

13. Been allergic to something.
I am invincible.

14. Got a computer virus.
But my computer is not.

15. Touched a real gun.

16. Had a dog.
He's staring at me right now. Apparently he has a need of some kind, and I am not filling it. I am a terrible human being.

17. Had a cat.

18. Been pregnant.

19. Camped out.

20. Swam in the ocean.

21. Wore a bikini.

22. Driven a car.

23. Been sent to the principal.
I did once get into terrible trouble in high school for something I didn't do, but I was able to prove my innocence before the teachers took it to the Head of School. Basically, my friends and I had to explain that the long-secret Skull and Bones-esque society we'd been inducted to by the previous members wasn't perpetrating some sort of Neo-Nazi bullying campaign. (Given that more than half the group was non-white and most everyone else was Jewish, that would have been quite the feat of philosophical gymnastics on our part. Also, I didn't start bullying people until college.) At a tiny old all-girls boarding school like mine, you couldn't swirl a kilt without hitting some secret tradition passed down through the generations; to this day I don't understand why ours was so shocking. (Well, we did put rubber duckies in the school pond as a prank. But we fished them out again the next night, I swear.) 

Maybe it was because some genius back in, like, 1897 had named the club the Sixes Secret Society (we called seniors Sixes, juniors Fives, etc; it was a weird school) and so our club journal had the initials SSS written on the cover? That's only one S away from crimes against humanity, after all. Our guilt was obvious.

24. Ever liked someone.
This meme wants my secrets.

25. Failed a class.
It was math, so it doesn't count.

26. Failed a test.

27. Went to summer school. 

28. Got worse than a D.

29. Read an entire book.
But just the one.

30. Recorded my own music.

31. Had an xbox.

32. Worn heels more than 3 days in a row.
Not happily.

33. Wore fishnets.
Today, actually. What are the odds? (Fairly good.)

34. Wore skinny jeans.

35. Been in love.

36. Hated someone.

37. Been cheated on.

38. Cheated on someone.

39. Did something sexual with someone of the same sex.
Just something sexual? That's pretty broad.

40. Practiced Christianity.

41. Worn makeup.

42. Lied to my parents about where I was going.

43. Had surgery.
Gall bladder free since '93! (2001, actually, but I like the rhyme better.)

44. Had my license.
To kill.

45. Been to college or university.

46. Graduated high school.

47. Attempted suicide.

48. Worn colored contacts.

49. Painted my nails black.

50. Broken someone’s heart.

51. Had my heart broken.

52. Cried for an hour straight.

53. Lost something very valuable.

54. Got separated from one of my parents as a kid.

56. Gotten stung by a bee.
Many times. It's made me a little paranoid.

57. Eaten something bad/expired.
Ha ha. I probably don't even know how many times this has happened. Saaaad.

58. Threw up from being so drunk.
NEVER! I am so proud of this, you don't even know.

59. Saw someone throw up from being so drunk.

60. Danced with someone of the opposite sex.
*insert Footloose joke here*

61. Owned an ipod.

62. Owned an iphone.
Or as I call it, my AssholePhone. aPhone, for short.

63. Fell for a best friend.

64. Stole a friend’s significant other.
Stole is a really strong word...

65. Went far away from home for more than a week.

66. Moved out.

67. Ran away.
From bees.

68. Teased my brother/sister.
Only child. Imaginary siblings, like math, don't count.

69. Been to a hospital.

70. Had food poisoning.

71. Had a job.

72. Been fired.

73. Lied to a friend.

74. Lied to a family member.

75. Had a Facebook.

76. Posted a video on Youtube.

77. Started a rumor about someone.

78. Talked bad about someone.

79. Dropped out of school.

80. Deliberately failed a test.

81. Been skinny dipping.

82. Counted to a million.
I once tried to sing a million choruses of 'I'm Henry the Eighth I Am' while waiting for my mom to pick me up from school, but I only got to nine hundred something. Some day I'll pick it up again.

83. Counted to a thousand.
One thousand and first verse, same as the first. A little bit louder and a little bit worse...

84. Ate rabbit meat.

85. Ate duck meat.

86. Had fast food.

87. Been to church.
Many times, and many kinds of churches.

88. Been to Canada.

89. Been married.

90. Had a divorce.

9. Broke a glass.
I call it dining ware natural selection.

92. Hugged someone today.
My dog?

93. Texted someone today.

94. Received a phone call today.
That's a good question, actually. Where the crap is my aPhone?

95. Threw something out of the window.

96. Ignored a text from someone on purpose.

97. Had my feelings hurt by a friend and never told them.

98. Wished I was somebody else.

99. Gone on an exchange.

100. Gotten drunk and made out with a friend.

I don't think I like the picture this meme paints of my decision-making skills.