rosa_acicularis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rosa_acicularis) wrote2007-09-17 06:05 pm
rosa_acicularis) wrote2007-09-17 06:05 pm
Entry tags:
the ears of an African elephant are larger than those of the Asian variety. who doesn't know this?
In Shirtless Irish Houseguest (aka the Meet Cute of Infamy) News:
So Kate's parents hired me to stay at their house last night to watch Kate and her older sister, as their mom and dad were going out of town and Shirtless Irish Houseguest (herein referred to as Niall, for that is his name) was on call at the emergency room all night. The girls were great, we had a wild fun time, yadda yadda yadda, and then at about midnight Sophie (Kate's eight-year-old sister) came downstairs and informed me that she'd woken up and couldn't fall back to sleep. Being the consummate professional that I am, I have a long list of tactics for just such a situation. An hour later, I had exhausted them all and found that the only thing that would send the little Sophster off to dreamland was if I sat on the floor by her bed - perfectly still - and held her hand. For an hour and a half. And let me tell you, that kid has one hell of a grip.
The trouble was, even after she finally fell asleep her hold on my fingers was like iron. Every time I attempted to disengage, her death grip only tightened. So I was slowly attempting to extricate myself, gingerly freeing one finger at a time from the tiny, bone-crushing hand of doom, humming "Hey Jude" (the lullaby that had finally done the trick) under my breath to cover the sound of my shoes squeaking on the floor when I heard a chuckle. A distinct, man-like chuckle that was absolutely not coming from Sophie.
So Kate's parents hired me to stay at their house last night to watch Kate and her older sister, as their mom and dad were going out of town and Shirtless Irish Houseguest (herein referred to as Niall, for that is his name) was on call at the emergency room all night. The girls were great, we had a wild fun time, yadda yadda yadda, and then at about midnight Sophie (Kate's eight-year-old sister) came downstairs and informed me that she'd woken up and couldn't fall back to sleep. Being the consummate professional that I am, I have a long list of tactics for just such a situation. An hour later, I had exhausted them all and found that the only thing that would send the little Sophster off to dreamland was if I sat on the floor by her bed - perfectly still - and held her hand. For an hour and a half. And let me tell you, that kid has one hell of a grip.
The trouble was, even after she finally fell asleep her hold on my fingers was like iron. Every time I attempted to disengage, her death grip only tightened. So I was slowly attempting to extricate myself, gingerly freeing one finger at a time from the tiny, bone-crushing hand of doom, humming "Hey Jude" (the lullaby that had finally done the trick) under my breath to cover the sound of my shoes squeaking on the floor when I heard a chuckle. A distinct, man-like chuckle that was absolutely not coming from Sophie.
Yeah, you see where this is going. Niall was leaning in the doorway (yes, leaning. has the man no shame?) and laughing at me. I politely suggested that he shut the hell up by putting the index finger of my free hand to my lips, and then continued the excruciatingly slowly process of reclaiming my poor, numb pinkie finger. When I'd finally escaped and closed the door behind me, I turned to him, rather flustered, and asked, "Why is it that you always seem to turn up when I'm doing something embarrassing?"
Which was a fair point, given in the fact that in the past week he'd been present for not one, but two kitchen mishaps with peanut butter, my banishment to the Land of the Monkeys during a game of house, and an impromptu adaptation of the Seuss classic Hop on Pop, retitled Hop on Rose. ("Hop! Hop on Rose! Land on her nose! Stop, shouts Rose, stop stop stop! No, do not hop!")
He answered, "I don't know. Do you often find yourself in embarrassing situations?"
There are a lot of very witty things I could have said in reply to that. Instead, I said, "Erg..."
He laughed and said, "Suppose I'm just lucky." After a moment's thought, he added, "That thing with the peanut butter was particularly bad, wasn't it?"
And then, reader, I dragged him off to the guest room by his hair and sexed him up. A lot, and for a very long time.
No, not really. Then we went downstairs and he made me tea (yes, because I was the one who'd been up all night fixing sick people - then again, maybe after the peanut butter thing he simply didn't want me near the kitchen) and we watched the Planet Earth DVDs he'd bought for the girls.
And, I'm sorry, hot Irish doctors are all well and good, but these documentaries ARE AMAZING. I'd seen the American version of the Shallow Seas episode (narrated by Sigourney Weaver, who is awesome, but David Attenborough in the Brit version rocks my socks), but dude. Deserts and Caves may be my favorites, but how could anyone possibly choose? Niall argued for the superiority of Ocean Deep, which, okay, valid choice, but I pointed out that CAVES FULL OF SULFURIC ACID obviously trump anything else in the universe, ever.
Excerpt from last night/early this morning:
David Attenborough: ...the white waters of Cueva de Villa Luz reveal...unimaginable that it could sustain life...filled with hydrogen sulfide gas...
Me: No way! No way no way no way!
Niall: Oh my god! That man's going in there!
Me: I want to go in there!
David Attenborough: ...deadly levels of sulfuric acid...incredibly dangerous...
Niall: You're joking.
Me: (pointing at the television screen) Caves! Full of sulfuric acid!
Niall: Yes, I heard that. You'd really want to go in there?
Me: Caves! Full of --
Niall: (mutters) I suppose it's better than that cave full of bat shit...
Me: Oh, I'm totally going there, too.
So, yes. We engaged in a battle of random animal kingdom facts (which I totally won. take that, Mr. Medical Degree) and then I fell asleep on the couch. And I realize now that maybe I was supposed to seduce him or something, but I was a bit distracted by awe-inspiring footage of sandstorms, so...
*facepalm*
I am lame. So, so lame. Caves full of sulfuric acid? How is that hot? What was I thinking? What's happened to me? I used to have Super Secret Slut Powers, goddammit! Why have they deserted me?
*is a broken shell of a person, even though she's still strangely excited about the caves full of sulfuric acid*
Which was a fair point, given in the fact that in the past week he'd been present for not one, but two kitchen mishaps with peanut butter, my banishment to the Land of the Monkeys during a game of house, and an impromptu adaptation of the Seuss classic Hop on Pop, retitled Hop on Rose. ("Hop! Hop on Rose! Land on her nose! Stop, shouts Rose, stop stop stop! No, do not hop!")
He answered, "I don't know. Do you often find yourself in embarrassing situations?"
There are a lot of very witty things I could have said in reply to that. Instead, I said, "Erg..."
He laughed and said, "Suppose I'm just lucky." After a moment's thought, he added, "That thing with the peanut butter was particularly bad, wasn't it?"
And then, reader, I dragged him off to the guest room by his hair and sexed him up. A lot, and for a very long time.
No, not really. Then we went downstairs and he made me tea (yes, because I was the one who'd been up all night fixing sick people - then again, maybe after the peanut butter thing he simply didn't want me near the kitchen) and we watched the Planet Earth DVDs he'd bought for the girls.
And, I'm sorry, hot Irish doctors are all well and good, but these documentaries ARE AMAZING. I'd seen the American version of the Shallow Seas episode (narrated by Sigourney Weaver, who is awesome, but David Attenborough in the Brit version rocks my socks), but dude. Deserts and Caves may be my favorites, but how could anyone possibly choose? Niall argued for the superiority of Ocean Deep, which, okay, valid choice, but I pointed out that CAVES FULL OF SULFURIC ACID obviously trump anything else in the universe, ever.
Excerpt from last night/early this morning:
David Attenborough: ...the white waters of Cueva de Villa Luz reveal...unimaginable that it could sustain life...filled with hydrogen sulfide gas...
Me: No way! No way no way no way!
Niall: Oh my god! That man's going in there!
Me: I want to go in there!
David Attenborough: ...deadly levels of sulfuric acid...incredibly dangerous...
Niall: You're joking.
Me: (pointing at the television screen) Caves! Full of sulfuric acid!
Niall: Yes, I heard that. You'd really want to go in there?
Me: Caves! Full of --
Niall: (mutters) I suppose it's better than that cave full of bat shit...
Me: Oh, I'm totally going there, too.
So, yes. We engaged in a battle of random animal kingdom facts (which I totally won. take that, Mr. Medical Degree) and then I fell asleep on the couch. And I realize now that maybe I was supposed to seduce him or something, but I was a bit distracted by awe-inspiring footage of sandstorms, so...
*facepalm*
I am lame. So, so lame. Caves full of sulfuric acid? How is that hot? What was I thinking? What's happened to me? I used to have Super Secret Slut Powers, goddammit! Why have they deserted me?
*is a broken shell of a person, even though she's still strangely excited about the caves full of sulfuric acid*