rosa_acicularis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rosa_acicularis) wrote2010-01-07 07:53 pm
rosa_acicularis) wrote2010-01-07 07:53 pm
Entry tags:
hi. this is my soul. it has been crushed.
This is an entry containing two things:
Thing 1: Angst.
Thing 2: Pitifulness.
Thing 3: Charm.
No, that's three things. Hold on -- I'll come in again.
So I've been having a rough couple of days.
Due to extremely complex/extraordinarily dull political maneuverings at Borders, I've pretty much been laidoff. Only not really, because they're still scheduling me eight hours a week. EIGHT HOURS. I knew this was a possibility when I voluntarily went down to part-time, but EIGHT HOURS. When I dropped full-time my manager said, "Four days a week okay with you?" And I said, "Awesome perfectness," and ever since I've been holding steady at about 30 hours a week. Now. EIGHT HOURS.
Which is okay, because I was going to get another job anyway, right? Only now I have desperation and low self-esteem (EIGHT HOURS) to add to the usual job search misery. Today was Internet Search: Day One (because I borrowed my mother's laptop for a few hours) and my GOD, I forgot the degree of existential turmoil involved. The problem is, I only have childcare and retail experience, and I'd rather gouge out my own eyes than continue with either of these. Well. If I could work in a non-evil bookstore, that would be all right. That will be day one of Going Out Into the World: The Making Desperate Eyes at Potential Employers Stage.
ALSO, as you may have heard, my computer is dead dead dead because I am stupid and spilled water on it like a stupid person who has a dead computer. All you wonderful people who talked me down from the cliff in the comments of my last entry kept me calm during the 72 hours I waited for it to dry out, but now it's Thursday and still, the computer is dead. And because I have had the computer for two years and one month, the warranty has expired (though it would have been void anyway, because of the WATER) and Apple would charge me $50 bucks just to call them to ask for advice. So my mother's computer guy is going to take a look at it (though he snorted derisively at me when I asked, because I PROFANED THE SACRED MACBOOK WITH MY BEVERAGE, not that I didn't feel bad enough about that already) and hopefully because he already does about 5,000 other things for my mother's business it won't be too insanely expensive, but in the meantime my life is in shambles because I cannot write fic.
ALSO, I'm trying to get focused on my new Life Goal(tm) which is to apply to a couple of MFA writing programs next year. So I must build up my resume, which means writing original stuff, which I never write anymore because all I can think about is trashy Paris Hilton!Rose Tyler AUs. And I signed up for a novel writing class at the local community college, which is exciting - except for when I think about the fact that I do not own a working computer and am effectively unemployed (though without unemployment) and CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY A CAN OF OFF BRAND TUNA FISH, MUCH LESS A COMPUTER.
*collapses*
Thank you. I needed to vent. I'm sure I'll find something eventually, and I read somewhere that only about 10% of people successfully find their jobs on the internet, so screw monster.com anyway. And hotjobs.yahoo.com, and careerbuilder.com, retailjobs.com, and mysoulhasbeencrushedbycapitalism.com. And the computer thing will work out eventually -- if the guy can fix it, he will. If it's too expensive, I'll get the fic off it and buy something really, really cheap. And with God as my witness I will never keep a glass of water by my bedside again.
So if that was angst, this is pitifulness -- I am having a really, really rough couple of days (at least for me, because in general my life is pretty pleasant) and could use some cheering up. So -- fic or vid recommendations, pictures of baby animals, amusing anecdotes, praise, flattery, virtual baked goods - anything and everything of a happy or ego-feeding nature would be much appreciated.
Thing 1: Angst.
Thing 2: Pitifulness.
Thing 3: Charm.
No, that's three things. Hold on -- I'll come in again.
So I've been having a rough couple of days.
Due to extremely complex/extraordinarily dull political maneuverings at Borders, I've pretty much been laidoff. Only not really, because they're still scheduling me eight hours a week. EIGHT HOURS. I knew this was a possibility when I voluntarily went down to part-time, but EIGHT HOURS. When I dropped full-time my manager said, "Four days a week okay with you?" And I said, "Awesome perfectness," and ever since I've been holding steady at about 30 hours a week. Now. EIGHT HOURS.
Which is okay, because I was going to get another job anyway, right? Only now I have desperation and low self-esteem (EIGHT HOURS) to add to the usual job search misery. Today was Internet Search: Day One (because I borrowed my mother's laptop for a few hours) and my GOD, I forgot the degree of existential turmoil involved. The problem is, I only have childcare and retail experience, and I'd rather gouge out my own eyes than continue with either of these. Well. If I could work in a non-evil bookstore, that would be all right. That will be day one of Going Out Into the World: The Making Desperate Eyes at Potential Employers Stage.
ALSO, as you may have heard, my computer is dead dead dead because I am stupid and spilled water on it like a stupid person who has a dead computer. All you wonderful people who talked me down from the cliff in the comments of my last entry kept me calm during the 72 hours I waited for it to dry out, but now it's Thursday and still, the computer is dead. And because I have had the computer for two years and one month, the warranty has expired (though it would have been void anyway, because of the WATER) and Apple would charge me $50 bucks just to call them to ask for advice. So my mother's computer guy is going to take a look at it (though he snorted derisively at me when I asked, because I PROFANED THE SACRED MACBOOK WITH MY BEVERAGE, not that I didn't feel bad enough about that already) and hopefully because he already does about 5,000 other things for my mother's business it won't be too insanely expensive, but in the meantime my life is in shambles because I cannot write fic.
ALSO, I'm trying to get focused on my new Life Goal(tm) which is to apply to a couple of MFA writing programs next year. So I must build up my resume, which means writing original stuff, which I never write anymore because all I can think about is trashy Paris Hilton!Rose Tyler AUs. And I signed up for a novel writing class at the local community college, which is exciting - except for when I think about the fact that I do not own a working computer and am effectively unemployed (though without unemployment) and CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY A CAN OF OFF BRAND TUNA FISH, MUCH LESS A COMPUTER.
*collapses*
Thank you. I needed to vent. I'm sure I'll find something eventually, and I read somewhere that only about 10% of people successfully find their jobs on the internet, so screw monster.com anyway. And hotjobs.yahoo.com, and careerbuilder.com, retailjobs.com, and mysoulhasbeencrushedbycapitalism.com. And the computer thing will work out eventually -- if the guy can fix it, he will. If it's too expensive, I'll get the fic off it and buy something really, really cheap. And with God as my witness I will never keep a glass of water by my bedside again.
So if that was angst, this is pitifulness -- I am having a really, really rough couple of days (at least for me, because in general my life is pretty pleasant) and could use some cheering up. So -- fic or vid recommendations, pictures of baby animals, amusing anecdotes, praise, flattery, virtual baked goods - anything and everything of a happy or ego-feeding nature would be much appreciated.